Why don't spammers try to sell you what you really want?

While patently ignoring the World Cup and all the whining about a differing sort of irritating noise, I periodically clear out my e-mails spam filter and find myself wondering why the only spam I get is from pharmaceutical vendors, purveyors of cockroach powered timepieces, the incomprehensible and inscrutable sellers of Japanese and Chinese 'adult' goods, fake financial services and the occasional Nigerian charity scam. Who wants that shit anyway? I certainly don't.

I mean, come on guys. How about trying to sell me something I want for a change? Not that I'm likely to trust any of you, but give it the old college try, eh? A lightweight Kayak maybe, or six months supply of Sleemans Honey Brown Lager, bargain Alaskan cruises, All Terrain Vehicles and car repair products at rock bottom prices.

Nah, that's too much to ask.