Hottest year on record......... Not

Keep on hearing that this year is apparently the 'hottest on record'. Where? Certainly not locally or in the UK, despite hearing that politicians with all the intellectual nous of roadkill are committed to the 'low carbon economy'. Or should that read 'should be committed'. What with the current cold snap, the declarations that it's been the 'hottest year ever' look increasingly like someone's 'avin a larf.

Summer was definitely cooler this year, both in the UK and on Vancouver Island, not to mention in the southern hemisphere, where sub tropical rivers lost half their reptile population to the cold. Sorry guys, I just can't see this global warming that's going to kill my grandchildren. I can forsee them having to take up Winter sports for much of the year, but drowning because the sea levels are rising, or dying of heat exhaustion? No.

Tell you the truth, I'm more concerned that the North Korean business will turn into a real shooting war with genuine value added nuclear fallout with a side order of Iranian attack and Israeli pre-emptive strike. That Ahvegottadinnerjacket character with all his talk of 'Ambassadors of Death' might just prove nutty enough to pull the nuclear trigger, as might the North Koreans. The fallout from that little show would definitely put a crimp in everybody's day.

Although having looked at the situation a bit more closely, I get the impression that the current North / South Korea spat is one of those high testosterone bits of sabre rattling that the North Koreans appear to be fond of. Same for the Iranians.

Perhaps we'll all get lucky and one of their cheap 'n nasty missiles will detonate on the pad, demonstrating to the world how flaming dangerous these things truly are, and why little boys should not play with such fireworks. A few square kilometres of vitrified landscape might prove a sober reminder to such regimes that Nuclear war is the biggest lose-lose scenario going, and besides dahlings, it's sooo twentieth century.

On the upside, such an event would certainly put the whole global warming bandwagon on the back burner. With even the loony Huhne in Cancun and cohorts might be given pause. Additionally I'm told the weather down there ain't so hot as it usually is. Currently cloudy and wet all week, according to the local forecast. Those delegates who'd planned to hit the beach are in for a disappointing stay methinks.

You know, on reflection, it would be even more apposite if Al-Quaeda managed to smuggle a warhead into the climate conference and set it off. A bit of a shame for Cancun, as I'm told it can be very nice down there, but getting rid of all those delegates would mean that the average intelligence of politicians might go up a percentage point on average and take people's minds off the current wikileaks scandal.

Hmm. There's a thought to conjour with. Think of it as evolution in action.